Living: a Poem by Me :)

I am finally living for myself

Not for you

I won’t worry what you think of me or how you feel

You’re dead to me and that’s the truth

These months and years I’ve wasted chasing a ghost

A shell of you that you left long ago

But now I realize I deserve better than lies, fights, and sleepless nights

If you truly loved me then it would be me and only me you’d want

And you give up all the drugs, drinking, bi-sexual tendencies and atheism

You’d come back to God and stop running, surrendering your broken soul so that he can fix it

But instead you bruise and beat the ones that love you

You traumatized me but I loved you anyways

I gave myself and my morals up for you

I surrendered my soul to make sure yours was full of contentment   

Tell me if that makes sense to you!?

I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable with myself; my body, my weight

You stole a part of me

It’s still hanging on your sleeve, calling to me

Beckoning me to jump in and save it

But to do that I would be facing the devil because he has taken over you

Instead I’ll let you keep it and I will have God restore my soul

My peace of mind, my innocence and my beauty

So that I can finally look at myself and say you are beautiful! You are worth it! There is someone for you!

Patience is what I must have

Waiting is what I must do

Forgiveness is what I must feel

Because I am forgiven and even you are too.